tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3129029512067984862.post3748181315380572983..comments2024-03-23T08:12:48.486-07:00Comments on Winsomes Revenge: Robert Nelson/Alchemy/Laughterwinsomecowboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05507483640600617292noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3129029512067984862.post-89060617449346511852020-11-17T21:33:06.935-08:002020-11-17T21:33:06.935-08:00Robert trusted me, he trusted me a lot and I was a...Robert trusted me, he trusted me a lot and I was aware of how rare that was.<br /><br />Performers tend to have a lot of tricks they use to deflect peoples attention away from what they themselves feel are gaping inadequacies in themselves.<br /><br />The really good ones are so good at it that they can make careers out of their coping mechanisms and the really really good ones are seldom challenged.<br /><br />I tend to broadcast my failings at high volume. As a performer though I resonate with a certain clarity that my articulate but shambolic real life scarcely resembles.<br /><br />Robert trusted me with his death. That’s not a small thing.<br />Underneath the gregariousness he was quite guarded and private.<br /><br />I held a mirror to his mouth to illustrate to his wife he’d stopped breathing.<br />Shortly after, I rang his son to give him the news.<br /><br />I’d made him laugh three days earlier. That was my function, my vocation, my duty.<br /><br />I’d made him laugh on the daily. Even when he’d suggest ways we could slip off and commit suicide together I’d make him laugh. It’s a gift.<br /><br />The last day he could stand I led him to the bathroom and set him down on the toilet. While doing so I knelt on his foot and he uttered a complaining grunt of pain.<br /><br />Timing is everything. I waited a beat then quietly said.<br />“You’re welcome Robert.”<br /><br />And he laughed for the last time. winsomecowboyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05507483640600617292noreply@blogger.com