Sunday, November 15, 2020
Tuesday, October 27, 2020
Been thinking about this for a couple of years.
This decade will be one of systemic collapse and climate refugees. [The Roaring Twenties]
On one hand you've got your cabin in the woods. Will the woods burn? Will you have to evacuate and if so where too? How do you defend your personal fiefdom from roving speculators? How does the movie end making a last stand on shifting sand?
Bollocks. You need a platform that provides flexibility. you need a platform that creates it's own water supply, you need a platform that you can transport via free energy towards hope rather than pretending TV tropes are based in reality.
Catamarans, ocean going Catamarans seem to be the most elastic way to cope over the next decade.
Single hulls are cheaper and more versatile, granted, but they take more talent to sail and importantly they don't provide the storage of a multi-hull.
When all you own is an object you can steer around the globe with a crew of two space is critical. Think of a Catamaran as a mothership.
The clunkiness of a Catamaran also limits your choices and simplifies the plans you need to make.
You have a watermaker, that changes salt water to fresh, you have solar panels that provide power, you have a small wind generator that does the same and when the wind is pushing you through the water and your idle propellers are turning in the current that is a third source of generated power.
You have the ability to cross oceans relatively quickly, The quicker the safer.
You have, even on a 40-50ft boat, more usable real estate, comfortable accom for 8 with 4 cabins and indoor/outdoor living areas.
There's an element of personal sovereignty that may be an illusion but as long as it lasts it's real and valuable. The fact that you possess a loaded wagon on a liquid prairie, self quarantined in a world shortly full of desperate people staggering blindly away from calamity at the very least puts you in the upmarket refugee category. The free international transport your vehicle provides is also itself non trivial.
So many considerations, the faster [more narrow] your boat the less space you have but your ability to outrun other vehicles is an important defense. Counter to that is that with modern communication small networks of seafarers have already formed and are their own multi-national tribes and that sort of politics is going to matter. Along with the advantages of autonomy there are also networks with skills and resource sharing.
The sailing learning curve is less steep with multi-hulls. They have less flexibility but if you are capable of sailing downwind across oceans and then sheltering around coasts and pottering about in your seabourne apartment the skill set you need to do that is rapidly learnable. You may also want to consider retaining a Skipper to aid the transition, start looking sooner rather than later.
It's dangerous though, there are many simple mistakes that could ruin you and lots of moving parts any one of which could break and test your improvisational skills. Layered contingencies will become a new required language.
Life would consist of learning new skills on a daily basis and that's healthier than dooming it in a basement.
You are going to need a million dollars roughly. Give or take half a million. I'm picking that as an average. With luck you could get it done for 400-000, I'm not going to bicker about entry levels. I'm addressing those who see the 20's as a period of massive upheaval and can throw liquidity at the problem rather than sit waiting to be overwhelmed.
The Catamaran market has quietly exploded the last few years, new evolved designs have emerged to cater to a rising group of adventurous Mom and Pop empty nesters who want to circumnavigate as a retirement plan.
Easy to operate, creature comfort yachts with built in redundancies, washer/dryers, water catchment systems and network based repair options are now common.
The best of which have high demand and waiting lists.
One example is the Seawind 1370 which has a two year waiting list at present.
It's the best example of an neo-upper middle class performance cruiser
It's a dream boat but demand being what it is it's more or less unavailable. Good stepping off point though.
Although if you are in the market for the best money can buy here's something to drool over.
Your crew sails it for you, it travels above the waves with no pitch or roll and you get to bask in the collective hate of humanity as you watch the world end in style.
There's a gamut of yachts, more available and all round the million dollar mark. You can buy second hand charters and refit them, bringing the cost back up from your initial saving to around a million or you can buy a fully fitted new yacht.
Here's some comparative fairly data rich cat-porn
These are upper middle boats. I say this because there's a small class of performance cruisers that are multi million dollar [10/11 million]
The best example of which is the Gunboat. Very light, very very fast, very luxurious.
Very few people will get near you if you don't want them to
Ok Ok, that's enough of that, back to the real world people! Chop chop! Half of us will be dead in the next decade and the small but dedicated community of international catamaran and single hull western upmarket refugees presently enjoying the shelter of Fiji after the mandatory 2 weeks isolation there while they wait for the cyclone season to end and NZ to relax it's inbound restrictions for certified disease free sailors [americas cup coming up in March].....nothing to see here......unless you have some liquidity and are looking at elastic forms of out of the box insurance.
Sunday, October 18, 2020
Sunday, September 20, 2020
Monday, August 3, 2020
So check this out,
I'm looking to produce locally a cover of this instrumental as the opening part of a show I'm working on.
I've made inquiries towards a keyboardist, [but might be looking for others if he's not available.]
and I've made inquiries of a sound engineer, [But might be looking at others if he's not available]
Additionally you'll notice there's layers of maniacal laughter involved in the piece.
That's where you come in....
download 'Audacity' [ free, easy audio recording software]
or use what you already have and please record and email me a soundfile of your best evil laughter.
I'll probably distort it beyond recognition but everybody who sends me a file will be included in the credits and in the recording somewhere.
and I'll record the show and send you a copy.
I need your help. Thanks.
Sadly, the keyboardist Dave Greenfield died of Covid on may 3rd this year. I'm hoping he's appreciate you turning your sadness into maniacal laughter.
My Post below is the preamble, a voice over monologue as I’m filmed putting on my makeup and stilts.
There is potential to emphasise by cutting from voice over to speaking to camera for dramatic punctuation.
Parts can be sped up and slowed down however the prime editing criterion is that the length of the preparation footage matches/equals the length of the monologue.
Then intro music, 'Waltz in Black' By the stranglers.
[PRODUCTION NOTE-I’ve started inquiries to have NZ musicians produce a cover of this music to sidestep potential copywrite issues]
[Martin/Lurk enters bare stage, 11 ft white face clown and moves towards abnormally tall mic stand mid centre stage front]
[Grabs mic off stand and begins pacing]
Who the fuck do I think I am?
That’s what some of you are thinking.
You people put yourselves abstractly in other peoples shoes to ask questions. I like that.
Others of you who don’t do that sort of thing automatically are simply asking.
What the fuck is this? And that’s fair enough too.
I can answer both questions at once.
I’m the last clown standing.
Which is a bit of a stretch, I’m guessing Leo Bassi’s still holed up somewhere being an isolated madcap asshole, and Jonathan Freddes who’s the last ancient Ringling Clown is still dodging plague and gaining successive blackbelts at 70 something in Mississippi and there are others alive and I could continue to namedrop like it was an olympic sport
And also I’m not nearly so well known, except to clowns.
I’m pretty secure in the fact that most international clowns know me.
Heard of me. I wouldn’t go so far as to say I’m well liked generally.
I’m like Clown wasabi.
I kept to the streets mainly but I did my share of international festivals and mad private events and a smattering of circuses and international corporate bollocks but I’m the last standing
Here……..[moves] and here, etc etc.
And I’m not sure but I have a suspicion collectively our days are numbered simply because as a species we have less and less to laugh about.
are finite. Who knew? Notice how comedies getting darker generally?
There’s less and less yucks that can be mined from the human condition.
Our ability to laugh at ourselves is receding into a collapsing bubble of diminishing returns.
And probably making a sound similar to a fart cushion while doing so. Don’t worry, that’s the only fart joke you’ll get from me.
The sound of humanity disappearing up it’s own ass. [Makes fart noise] Moving right along.
Clowns were the mostly insipid fluffy little canaries in the coalmine, Circus based, street theatre festivals, before their ultimate accolade became a residency in Vegas . I suspect Vegas is in the process of drying up and blowing away. Always was a bit of allegorical shitstain in my opinion. I’ve worked there. I’ll get back to Vegas later in the show. But Vegas is a city, in a country, in a western world, in a global interconnected system that’s convulsing in case you hadn’t noticed.
The only Clowns built to survive this convulsion were more like Crows
or Ravens to begin with, dark brooding slightly unsafe instruments of
Performers who gained your trust by being untrustworthy towards everything but their audience.
You ever been in a restaurant and some violinist or rose seller is going from table to table.
You know that dread you feel, like your whole nights been ruined as you feel them heading your way?
The clowns I liked used people like aztec sacrifices. It takes great skill to choose who to pick on.
I have picked on tens of thousands of people. I’m not proud, but I’m not embarrassed or ashamed either.
It’s a serious business and I know what needs to be done. I engineered laughs.
Check this out……
[STAGE NOTE, I need to workshop whether for pacing purposes I go straight to this gag or build it using the rule of threes via my one ball juggling anticlimax gag followed by my magic pen gag leading into this bit]
[Pulls out LED Yo Yo, shows it to the crowd, milks reaction, teases anticipated big trick, engages Yoyo but even though he’s on stilts the string is impossibly long and the Yoyo shatters on the stage. Lurk freezes in shock, the tricks ruined. He turns himself so his back faces the audience and frantically begins pulling up the string of the broken Yoyo in small increments. He glances over his shoulder intermittently. When he has fully collected the string there is a little further surreptitious furtive movement before he turns to face the audience with the fingers of both hands supporting a woven doily triumphantly.]