Professionally I am an unhappy stilt pantomime.
I was a child prodigy, by the time I had left the post natal clinic I had graduated as a doctor and was already specializing in bone marrow disorders.
My childhood was spectacularly uneventful, I mostly wrote books.
My parents were both hardworking professionals, my father (before his accident) was a human cannonball and my mother was an adhesive chemist.
They met by chance when a spiteful clown changed my fathers trajectory before a matinee and he flew askew and landed on my mothers date, killing him.
In the trauma counseling and legal wrangling that followed they grew close and fell in love.Thus I am 100% clown inspired
.I went to clown school, my first show was 'How to create a near death experience'
.Later I found a way to shoot dead squid over buildings
.I was always a clowns clown. This is difficult in that there are very few of us and if you didn’t have one or two in your audience, no-one laughs.
I gave up laughing professionally ten years ago and I’ve never been happier.
I spend my days sneering at a public who find me amusing because I try so superficially to be happy.