Saturday, November 27, 2010

Mardi Gras; New Orleans, Full Draft.

I drove 1100 miles
New York
West Virginia
finally Louisiana.

The serpentine ash-felt slithered under the vehicle.
I went mad, I came too, I went mad again.
I listened to a great deal of country and western music.
'She thinks my tractors sexy.' impressed me with its irony.
Country and western people only pretend to be dumb so that they can outwit you.
People down south prefer to defensively feign stupidity and people from up north are all $50 hats on 99 cent heads, don't get me started on east and west.
I'm not from around these parts.

Flipping the dial on the radio, Fleetwood mac, Eagles, Johnny Cougar, Christian rock and preachers disingenuously selling 'non conformity', power ballads with dumb white trash lyrics blaming the wife for the whining husbands lot in life.
It may as well be the 70's except all the car ads are for Japanese and Korean cars.

Stopping at Waffle House I wait 20 minutes to be noticed and a further 20 to be served a coffee and ham sandwich that costs about a week of third world labor. (about 300 pairs of Nike or US$4)

A statistic on the plastic coated menu pointed out that the hamburger buns sold over a year by this particular chain of gastronomic fiends, if stacked, would be the height of 7 Everests..
Is it not enough that I am sold masquerading pap with the taste equivalent of white noise without being bombarded in my weakened state by da-da surrealist statistics?

Am I not already risking enough here in the belly of the beast as I drive from one end of the country to the other through this winters most violent blizzard to report on the disparities of a nation driven on one hand to the brink of WW3 by an obviously out of control Attila the Presidential Foliage while on the other, deep in the south, in Louisiana, masses of Americans prepare to celebrate their culture in New Orleans by drowning their shallow brain-pans in cheap beer and purchasing peeks at woman's breasts with beads?

Yes I am going to Mardi gras, because its the only sane thing to do in these troubled times and also because its actually an adaptation of a Catholic pre-lent ritual and I happen to be a deeply religious person. Spiritual bankruptcy be damned.
Also because my life is a succession of vivid horror stories and I've been told that the streets of New Orleans during these festivities are awash with excrement and vomit.
I think my pantomime character will be at home there as it takes scenes of such cumulative mindlessness and excess to afford me even the smallest comparative self regard.

I am presently snowed in at a truck-stop and overweight men are sneering at me as I stumble about muttering in a sleeping bag with legs.

Arrive and stop to reside on a street. apparently suspiciously close to the action called Bourbon.

‘Bourbon’ is historical in that it is French for ‘Lose all motor functions in a public place.’
Bourbon street is Walt Disney as a lecherous alcoholic, crack smoking social architect.
I like the new Walt.
I am led down the street and bump into various bit players.

Its a little like LA in that everyone has a polished 15 mins of standup rather than a personality.

Some great material, a great jailhouse story from a guy called Thaddeus about holding cells and how out of every 40 inmates forced to share a room, you’ll always get the crazy who rips his clothes off and covers his body with his own shit and how you could learn from that and perhaps dab a bit of your own behind your ears in a potentially violent situation.

Got a couple of wary glares from a tripper, wild-eyed and blinking in a bars doorway,
Yeah right,
You've overloaded your system with hallucinogens, dampened it slightly with 6 hours of drinking, you're overstimulated, confused, your ego’s been chemically peeled and you're holding me responsible?
(I relented and lent him my mobile so he could ring his mum)

I was led to Jackson square, where, at 3am in the morning I could make architectural assumptions based on projected population densities.
After running new data through my patented Street performers, “All Possible Contingencies™” software on my laptop I configured I have a 34.596 % chance of getting out of this alive.

I went back and went to sleep, briefly forsaking the dreams of others.

I woke, lying on a couch with my laptop clenched to my chest.
It had all been a dream, birds were singing.
Birds were singing? I lived in a frozen bird-less wasteland.
It all came flooding back.
I was in New Orleans where the sun was shining and there was no snow at all, ever and plants were green and grass grew.
It was astonishing, I removed my skis and got off the couch.

Jackson square held a magician who held 15/20 people a time, also an escape personage, his stage edges taped, waiting...always waiting, straightjacket displayed.
As well as four hundred and fifty people with tables and earnest expressions, who, if you gave them money,could look into your futures.
A Dixie Jazz band at one end and a CD retailing unit on guitar up the other.
There's construction to contend with too.
Its too early, I postpone myself.

My friends and I retire to a condemned warehouse in a slum.
They prepare a cart. Then get permits and stop off at a warehouse and pick up $6000 wholesale of beads for the first few days.
These beads range from 50 cents to $5 each wholesale and each is a currency, a kind of accepted inducement for woman, from all backgrounds (except Amish) and all walks of life (except Presidents wives) to bare their breasts in a public place in a unique fertility display native only to these shores.

Qualities required for a successful bead salesman are as follows
Highly aggressive
Fairly intoxicated
Easy to please, an ‘any breast will do,’ attitude infused with the venal cheer of a pre-op plastic surgeon.
A bead salesman should ‘Just Be There’ in the words of an accomplished bead seller and multi-breast veteran.
‘You have to be a dapper dandy’ he adds
It strikes me that this focused Jill-average (joes sister) sexual tension is not something to be taken lightly.
It makes me wonder if in fact beads are the answer.

Beads, especially in America have always been a metaphor for a swindle.
Beads are what condescending white people give to natives.
“Thank you for your civilization with real estate attached ,here's a necklace, please die now.”
Breasts as public real estate, only in New Orleans.

Well last night was canceled due to flooding and a tornado warning so everyone stayed home, played cribbage, talked to their plants or drank heavily from a reclining position.
Today (sat) everything's back on track with parades starting 2pm and going through till round midnight.
So I wander about and really, what can I tell you?
Lots of cheerful drunk people, mostly overweight, bedecked and festooned with beads. I ask myself. how am I going to do this? Catalog a drunken archetype a day?
Get into trouble every day and write about it? Just fling 6-700 words off the top of my head a day and hope?
And why? (and hope for what?)
These people, these confused, drunk, celebrating people are at least in one place at one time, responding to marketing (and their own inner demons) trying to immunize themselves from an aching, all pervading existential loneliness by accepting the lie that you can observe mass crassness without participating in it.

Mr and Mrs Ohio, both 55, stagger about pretending to be detached until Mrs Ohio, wishing she had never married her shoe polish chemist husband, receives an invitation offered by a 27 year old New yorker on a balcony, who is himself a deeply sad improvisational vehicle, to expose her breasts for a moment in return for a larger than average string of beads.
Everyone just wants to be loved.
And there, in that bright shiny moment, insecurities, like matter and anti-matter meet, and are annihilated.

I am a group dynamic connoisseur, I amble looking for nodes, there are 2 basic group dynamic focal points.
One's breasts; large circles form as a woman (well qualified) bargains for her selected bead, confirms transaction and then in a blaze of flashing bulbs, achieves her desire.

The second is arrests; The bouncer has him by the throat, pressed up against a wall, you wonder if this will be one of those sad, “He died from oxygen deprivation” gigs as you see him,the punter, slowly lose the will to participate before, hurrah, suddenly 8 cops burst through, saving his life and adding humiliation, massive bruising and a police record to his holiday itinerary.

Being a total non conformist I am sober, which is alarming, but interesting from an alcoholics point of view, these people are amateurs and doomed. (I’ll catch up later)
I have to work tomorrow as I’ve put it off long enough, I’ll do Jackson Square early enough to only get tourists and before the less than cosmetically deranged get out of bed, and I’ll do Royal st. later on, to rub the locals faces in me.
I have nothing else to tell you,
But I need you to love me.
(cackling laughter starts here)

I went to ‘Freaks and Ho’s’ it's a bar.

Staff were advertised as either, sexy freaky or trashy.
Obese strippers and tossed dwarfs.

The bar holds a couple of hundred, there’s two small stages at the back ends on which a succession of topless large woman perform.

It can distort the pace of striptease when what is yet to be revealed is so hard to conceal and that's all I have to say about that.

The staff were either heavily pierced (which is freaky or trashy depending on your upbringing) or wore fishnets and visible bras (which is sexy or trashy depending on whether you were a breach birth or not)

The punters were mostly locals as the bar is a couple of blocks from Bourbon St., your usual smear of curious detachment as we all hung out for as long as it took to see a big guy throw a little guy across the room.
And after 3 hours or so a large fat man (strangely non naked) announced the main event of the evening, a gym mat was unrolled and a tiny man with a full face helmet, extensive padding, a cape and a handle in the middle of his back (who I’ll name Timmy trajectory) was introduced to thunderous applause.

Heres the gig, prearranged strongmen compete against each other to throw a dwarf as far as they can for cash. They have 2 throws each.
The crowd line the throwing lane baying and hooting as the MC dredges enthusiasm from an over mined resource. I suspect what’s being celebrated is a bent but understandable form of non-dwarfism.
I really really wanted Timmy trajectory to go high rather than long as I had noticed an overhead fan that could have provided a quality of entertainment that was otherwise lacking. But sadly the sight of a caped dwarf spinning uncontrollably from a ceiling fan as people tried to dislodge him with brooms was denied us.
Instead he was merely hoisted a matter of yards underarm and the difference in distance between the competitors was about a foot. Timmy seemed to enjoy himself and hung out at the bar afterward s receiving more attention from sexy, freaky, trashy people than he would, in my opinion, have got if he hadn’t been flung across the room.
So one one hand we see exactly what a lonely dwarf might do for company and on the other we get to see ourselves as sad, pathetic and cruel with a bottomless appetite for distraction.
Could be worse, Tomorrows another day.

The evenings pass, I decide to observe until fat Tuesday, it's ugly, not dangerous just ugly and I am predominantly off-put by the drunken tourists and the identical drunken tourists they have come to see.

I have an ideal base. My friends the bead salesmen are resident on Bourbon St and they work hard day and night while I rove about watching people piss and puke and leer and bellow and I watch various arrests before returning to the pad to watch 'Cops' which is showing people getting arrested here the year before.

So onto Fat Tuesday where all the smaller community local based crews take over the side-streets and bars. I could smell the authenticity as the slick polish of the long established crews were usurped by smaller low budget locals who mocked them. It struck me that that was what it was originally about surely. Mocking the establishment. As a clown myself I'm drawn to this type of affair and so I put my gear on, stilts, makeup, and joined them to celebrate ourselves rather than simply provide gawkers with disposable incomes an opportunity to close one eye and focus on glitz too big to miss.

I was adopted by each crew I joined, welcomed and offered booze and food. This to me was the real Mardi Gras and I was glad I'd saved my energy for this last long day. This was the year before Katrina, I doubt the city will ever return to pre-disaster days.
Next visit I'm aiming to see how the place is on a normal week. 

New Orleans has a spirit unique to itself, it teaches people how to party together, it's still and I guess always will be the all encompassing gleeful glad-handing drunken rascal of America that sells more guilt free hangovers than pretty postcards. In my own way I was charmed.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Robert update #5

No time to write but will do later. Getting evaluated for a livein drug treatment today. Have to focus on myself while there's still something left to work with so I'll be spending some me time up ahead and may be offline. Robert was thankful for his visitors.
You haven't heard the last of Robert and I.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Do Alcoholics make Bad Clowns?

All the alcoholic clowns (not counting me) I know are quite brilliant, the same sort of risky attitude that will leave your liver, over years,the consistency and texture of a raw, three week steak can also be used in exploring comic boundaries of form and content.
I agree that all alcoholic clowns could conceivably be better performers if they didn’t drink, (I have and continue to experiment ) but I do think that alcoholic clowns have one idiosyncratic form, a performance devoid of their disease, in which they invest. To watch them work, you would have no idea that offstage they were shuffling husks of their own unbridled adolescent egos, inebriate, incontinent, surfing manic depressive swells, isolated and at heart, self pitiful.
I admire people who create pockets of laughter (itself quite a powerful drug) in which to briefly bask, relieved momentarily from a universal pointlessness that would swallow them whole but for their one performance jewel which helps fuel their self medicating lifestyles.

It is the ability to perform pathos with the right emotional credentials that helps some clowns dredge comedy from unexpected sources. (themselves in most cases)
I’m not suggesting it’s mandatory, Sad clowns really should stay where they belong on biscuit tin lids. Having said that some of the saddest people I know are clowns (and THEY pity ME!!)
I know others who don’t drink at all and others who are the very emblem of moderation.
Its trite to suggest that disfunction is a price to pay for creativity, but I think it’s valid to suggest that creativity can sometimes be a self induced reaction to disfunction.

So initially I would argue against alcoholics being bad clowns but would certainly concede that their development would automatically be stunted by their condition.
Start out, create brilliant material, coast... (until physical and mental deterioration sets in.) or
Start out, apply yourself to novel circumstances, exhaust whatever support structure presents itself, repeat...
Start out, burn out. Start again, burn out, repeat.
Start out, make big waves, let your PR sell you for what's left of your career.

You can combine these elements in as many ways as there are hangovers.
There's heaps of ways hard drinking clowns can destroy themselves. Most of them slow and degrading but not without entertainment potential.

I think the fact that some haven’t, that some survive themselves, whether they are recovered,recovering or still bobbing about in their own waste with permanently startled expressions and delusions intact is testament to who they are, not what they are, or what they could have been.
Some of my best friends, have best friends who have drinking problems, as we age I see some of them making healthier concessions but what is not lost is the knowledge that on any given day, you will not recognise your surroundings or situation on regaining consciousness.
Few would choose such a lifestyle but fewer could adaquately argue it wasn’t more eventful on most dramatic scales than those of non alchoholic, non clowns.
To survive yourself, while producing entertainment, is a tight little dynamic.
When 'events' flow unrelentingly without respite. Well that's just a curious side effect. 

Friday, November 12, 2010

Utrecht Clown Chronicle

Utrecht just had the misfortune of being at the wrong place at the wrong time.  
Summer was over and the grey had begun.

Amsterdam had done me no favors, the first international city in my first decade in which I couldn't fully function. Attempts, all in different locations, all failing in some regard, all lacking that essential cohesion; 
The three elements, 
A: passing pedestrian traffic,  
B: a corner or niche and 
C: an audience catchment area that does not disturb elements A and B  

Amsterdam was, to my shock, proof my sociologically experimental, financially self perpetuating, clown performance, wrinkle wasn't bulletproof.  

So I caught a train to Utrecht and sat not far from the station eager pedestrian pickings having serious doubts about my vocation. 

It wasn't the damp. I'd triumphed in Glasgow in my first deliberate performance during drizzle.

It wasn't the paucity of the pedestrian flow. I specialize in the slow build. I am the most self contained performer I know. I make my time into others time, over time.

It wasn't anything external,I'd lear t over the years that generally after particular crowds or cities or weather conditions or seasons are set aside as excuses for why my show [occasionally]sucked I was left inescapably with the conclusion that it must be some combination of my own sense of entitlement and a certain lack of respect that can happen when a good thing is taken for granted. 

I also wondered as I sat in what I thought was a bleak place having bleak thoughts, if perhaps all this travel was just a futile effort to outdistance some bleakness that had finally caught up on me and settled about as I sat and smoked and sipped sugary coffee in the grey dusk of Utrecht. 

Eventually, when my situation; that of being moneyless in a foreign county at the approach to winter prevailed, I did apply my makeup and stilts and insinuated myself in some dark corner spending the next hour leering and dancing and making mischief.  

Initially I simply am. I'm 11 foot tall and obviously contrived, a scowling pantomime with one major pleasure, that of accosting passers on street-corners with the solid state of me.
I'm not what most people would expect and that alone I find is comedy bedrock. Additionally I have a large quiver of gambits honed over 20 years and in many countries and cultures.

That said I really must apologize to Utrecht, I know it doesn't matter but although you laughed and donated and sent me on my way with more than I had arrived I must confess I was predisposed to not giving as I could.  

Sometimes the bleak conditions are internal and those wonderful, light, out of nowhere, bursts of creative joy you may happen upon are as much a relief and release for the performer you are watching as they might be to you. 

These shows are mutual celebrations and the pinnacle of objectives. My show in Utrickt was one of those very occasional shows where my disgruntled clown bled in and out of my underlying disgruntled artist. The audience cannot be sure of the comedy as theatrical timing and real timing are distinctly different the bitterness seems too unforced .  

Whenever I sense this it only amplifies my dissatisfaction which as you could see immediately makes the whole situation negatively recursive with me an unhappy clown in it's center. 

Laughter is created and so I redeem myself.

But honestly Utrecht, when I'm up I can achieve mercurial alchemy where the human condition is distilled and just enough pressure applied and released that a sum of laughter greater than it's parts is temporarily created and people revel.  

I think for my second book, which I'll write even if no-one reads this one, because I have to recycle reality seemingly as some inner prime function, I'll revisit Utrecht and make up.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

One Man Bands

The internet is the new street. Loses that live immediacy but retains something. Enough?

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

Meanwhile with the finger clicking and foot stomping

and ending with a classic.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Performance/Tour Admin System. Full working model.

Performance Promo System 
Martin Ewen

Someone wanted advice on getting promo together. This is long and its not particularily wise but some may find it useful. 

However I have received this feedback that validates the effort somewhat.

This is gold... pure gold... almost every facet of the promo approach is covered here... the only thing about reading this that I personally find rather ironic is that fact that the guru himself has never applied ANY of this to his own career... guru has NO promo and guru makes NO CALLS and guru berates himself beyond reproach for his failures yet STILL cares enough to tell others how to do it ... this information, as stellar as it is, is bitter sweet when you keep that in mind.

"Bitter sweet" Yes folks I am the human embodiment of chutney. Just smear me over your life experience and enjoy. A balanced diet is important. I've noted that those who choose to dine on chutney almost exclusively always end up nauseated. The record is nine years.
I am presently available for tastings.

Items Required:
• Audiovisual, online or postal,
• Intro letter on letterhead
• Firm line of communication -e-mail -postal
• Web site
• CV [Résumé]
• Mailing list

VIDEO/DVD/Audiovisual content.
The video should be short (3 mins) and should show the prospective client what it is that you do. (Not how big your crowds are or what a great editor you are, how you get ready, what kind of car you drive to work etc.) It must be remembered that most festival organizers have a great many videos pass across their desks and most will out of duty watch the first minute of every video.

Your focus should be to keep the client entertained and interested past this point so as to effectively present your entire visual sales pitch and at the very least make it onto his or her shortlist. If you can make a client laugh in the first 30 seconds you have an above average chance of securing income.

The video or whichever format you choose and the case it comes in also give you an opportunity to stand out. The few extra cents a hard case cost you brings with it the opportunity to create a graphic cover with your name and an image and also your website address. This will be the first thing that the festival organizer or agent sees and the impression it gives them will flavour their opinion of your professionalism even before they have watched you. It is relatively easy to produce a video cover, either by physically cutting and pasting and lazer or photocopying, or on a computer. Video covers are A4 sized.

You can also cheaply produce labels for the video itself, for the front and the spine.Think of your video without a cover in a pile of other videos and use your imagination to compete.

(Note-USB hard drives are another possibility)


This is a letter of introduction to accompany your video. A letterhead states the name of you or your act and can be used to convey the style of either your act or your administrative style. It also clearly informs the reader of the methods of communication available to them should they require further information.
Here's an old one of mine

Any combination of telephone, e-mail, postal address or website can be used but most important is that the lines of communication that are given are monitored by either you or someone you have trained to respond to inquiries.

For example, do not include a postal address you only check once a month or a telephone number that your flatmate answers while you are out of town. The simplest way is to have an e-mail account and a postal address that is either monitored by you or on your behalf.

Lines of communication are extremely important. If you succeed in the initial interactions in convincing clients that you are in control and capable then your chances of securing employment are well ahead of those performers who have not spent as much time and thought on the simple things like presentation and lines of communication.

Websites are very efficient and cost effective in promoting your show or your act. they have the advantage of being available 24 hours a day to anyone in the world and allow you to give more in depth information to potential employers.

You can have any number of pictures or short films and also the promo copy that you write can be more elaborate and distinctive than a short piece that would normally accompany an introductory letter.

A website gives you the opportunity to place yourself in the market place at the level that you wish to be perceived at. A website allows you to be an international performer competing in the international marketplace. Websites can also be made to work on a number of levels apart from their international billboard qualities.

By using links from your website to other performers sites and also sites that may be of interest to clients or other performers looking for information you can develop enough traffic through your site to have your website itself become a source of revenue through advertising or sponsorship.

CV [or Résumé]

A CV is what, when all is said and done, remains the foundation by which people perceive your work. A CV is a record of your achievements in performance or training or teaching or all of these.

There are many styles of CV, I use these criteria:
Performance Training:
Solo Development and Touring:
Festival Involvement:
Company Involvement:
Teaching Experience:
Current Repertoire:

You could use whichever apply to you and any others, get advice and have a few different versions so that you can tailor your CV to different markets.
An arts festival might take a different focus to a buskers festival and a corporate event might take a different focus again. 

This is a list of festivals and agents and event management companies.
Start locally and work out from there. Start anywhere you like. Make note of the name of the organization, the individual you will need to contact, the dates if known of events that they produce, get as much information as you can. The fee that is usually offered, accomidation provided, travel costs built into the fee or extra. Tax taken out of negotiated fee or fee after tax, all this need to be known before commitments are made but more later in negotiations.

Ask people in the same business for information to add to your mailing list.
  Visit links page and look at their festival directory.   
Google alerts are a good way to fish for new venues, just choose your terms.

Event companies and agents can be found in telephone directories, through search engines or via word of mouth.



Get out of bed.

Postpone therapy.

Decide where and when you want to be touring.
Or when you want to want to apply yourself to your local market.

It is easiest to bracket these attempts into timeframes. This gives you a specific task instead of a general attitude, it also allows you to set targets and evaluate the process as it goes. Hippyspeak tells us that there's no such thing as success or failure. I would rather put it that there's just good and bad structure. So..give your self a timeframe of projected work and another to try and secure that work.

Points to consider:

Minimize travel costs by bracketing events in proximity to each other in time and geography. This is a prime consideration.

Having selected a brace of festivals at around the same time and within practical reach of each other, write a cover letter outlining your tour project.
This will help festival directors because they sometimes work together and would rather have an act work at a number of festivals so that they can share the travel costs associated with bringing you to there area.

Create a list of elements needed for festival directors to provide you.
This can include things you need for your show as in minimum space requirements, PA, on site prop storage etc. Also personal requirements like access to AA meetings, special dietary needs, telephone line access for your laptop, whatever you consider is necessary for your reasonable comfort in order for you to perform optimally.

This gives the staff you are dealing with a better knowledge of your requirements and helps both parties work better at their jobs. So often performers complain about things they had taken for granted not being provided but it is their responsibility to let organizers know in advance what their requirements and expectations are.

Remember the better the experience is for both parties the greater chance of repeat work and recommendations toward other festivals.

(starting to sound like cheesy girl guide matron)

Having compiled your promo combo, it is now time for the medium expense of mailing them all off. Try to do it all at once if you can, it helps to rate your responses in terms of how soon some people get back to you and remember also that speedy responses by you will get things firmed up quicker and make the process and the perception of the way you do business seem professional.

Have a list of targets your promo has been sent to and some sort of filing system where all correspondence between festivals can be kept separated into a festival by festival basis. This can be done in files at home or by giving yourself various categories in your e-mail account.

Wait three weeks and deal with whatever responses you receive during this time then send out an e-mail to those places that have not yet replied asking them whether they have received your material and whether they are interesting in having themselves included in your upcoming tour.

After a month (bearing in mind that usually you are planning tours at least three months in advance) look at the responses you have had and look hopefully at the number of confirmations you have or shortly hope to have, and work out your projected income and whether it will cover costs.

You now have three choices:

1. You can cancel already confirmed gigs well in advance, explaining that the response has not been sufficient to cover your expenses. (Administrators appreciate honesty and will either accept your position and bear you in mind for next time or try and help you by using their local knowledge to get you more work)

2. You can go on the offensive for a week and fax all places sent material outlining your need to finalize your itinerary and asking for a timeframe for finalization of their programs (admin-speech, learn it and prosper) Give them a set time to respond.

3. You have enough response to potentially cover your expenses (with full confirmation always before departure)-Golden rule.


Get your promo completely together before you initiate contact and be ready to respond promptly. Common mistakes are initiating contact and then leaving them waiting for ages as you try and get a video organized.
Get everything together first. (A letter, a video and an e-mail address is my suggested minimum.)

Good luck

Footnote: A forum in which self validation pontificates. I'm posting this in an effort to be helpful. I was taught about content and form and performance and specialize in it. Art administration has been a slack 20+ year crawl, but it all comes down to having a system of promotion that is simple enough to leave you to concentrate on your work or your shrunken head collection.

Any questions, comments or criticisms can be directed to:

Please remember that The guru lurk, while not a particularly busy Guru, does carry a certain collective spiritual responsibility and so will get back to you most possibly in this life but not always.