All the little Deaths

 All the little Deaths...

I’ve never played angry birds but would guess each angry bird dies and is replaced by the next.

I wonder how old we were when we first playfully died. [setting aside that we were ‘put to sleep’ every night]

My generation was minimal television and certainly no murders before 8 or 9pm on the solitary channel. Although I think Bonanza might have had childrens programming murder in it.

Checkers, Chess, Cowboys and Indians, Pac-man, Doom and sex. We all die a little many times. It was 17 playing pacman and space invaders while waiting for my late night chips when I recognized I was paying 20c to eventually die.

I must have died 100’s of thousands of times digitally. A few times on stage but those mostly involved copious blood or in one case 1 litre of orange vomit, . Post orgasmically I’ve noted it’s very similar to pretending to die playing some childhood wargame. Bam, snipershot.

I joke, I'm unfailingly attentive.

My mother took me to a movie I couldn't have seen otherwise, an R13 when I was 10ish, The Poseidon Adventure, The cruise ship turns upside down, there's a 15 minute scene where people are falling to their deaths, check it out, 9/11 was based off it.

Back in the day movies had half time, after that scene the lights went up and we went for an icecream. I was completely traumatised. Icecream is ideal, the sugar helps you deal with shock.

Fast forward 50 years and I watch Russian troops from the last 24 hr's video catchment getting extinguished for real in explosive ways with my morning coffee.

Then switch to the olympics.

A friend died yesterday.

Small profound pieces go missing. Also people don't realise, because why would you, that the highest echelons of clown contain some of the last redeeming qualities of our doomed species. Homo-if-only we had infinite-planets-erectus.

When these people depart...well in my experience and I'm keenly observant given it's my vocation...they are not replaced at the same frequency.

You should already know but if not I'm here to tell you..as a clown...

I'm disturbed.